Monday, 23 February 2009
Deathly Peril At The Volcano's Edge - Chapter 6
Chapter 6 - The Villain Revealed
He stood before me, head thrown back in taunting laughter. He looked exactly the same as the last time I had seen him - the bushy eyebrows planted atop the cruel, flashing eyes; the neatly goatee ending in a vicious point; the shiny bald head, glinting in the light of the volcano. There was no doubt - it was him.
"Baron Von Wenlock!" exclaimed Big John.
"In the very flesh," purred he.
"But that's not possible!" interjected the Perfesser. "We saw you die in that fiery zeppelin crash after thwarting your army of insectoid automatons!"
"Suffice to say, that particular inconvenience did not signal my demise. However, I will spare you the exact details of my mircaulous escape at this time. No, it's your very imminent and particularly final demise which should concern you more at this precise moment in time."
Once more, his evil laughter reverberated around our fiery prison. Lucy, being overcome by the heat and the monstrousness of our host, chose that moment to fall into a swoon.
"You evil blackguard! You won't get away with whatever nefarious scheme you have planned!" I heroically shouted.
"As you have but mere moments left to live, I may as well outline the details of my dread scheme," dastardlied the Baron, "Your timing is fortuitous, my copper nemesis, for in a few minutes, a long-awaited planetary alignment will take place. Once the planets are fully aligned, the particular light cast by this curious conjunction will strike the legendary and extremely rare purple diamond contained in my volcanic-agitating device located just over there to left. Once the machine is fully powered, it will unleash the full power of the mystic light directly into the heart of the volcano, setting up a chain reaction of unimaginable destructive power!"
Once more, his laugh echoed all around us.
"But why?" queried the Perfesser.
"What?" asked the Baron.
"Well, why? Surely you'll be killed in the eruptions and all it's going to do is cause massive destruction. What purpose does it serve?"
There was a moment of silence.
"Quiet, you fool, your tiny mind cannot possibly hope to comprehend the full magnitude of my malevolent genius!"
"You're a loony," muttered the Perfesser.
"Shut up!" angried the Baron.
"Hang on a minute, bub, what about the missing girls?" asked Big John.
"Ah, well, yes, you see, an evil genius gets lonely in his volcanic lair of villainy sometimes...."
During the above, I had seized my opportunity to loosen my bonds, exercising the mighty preternatural power of my highly developed muscles. While the Baron was distracted by the Perfesser and Big John, I leapt free, grabbing the nearest thing to hand and hurling it strengthily at his deadly machine. Unfortunately, the nearest thing to hand was Little Jimmy. As the device exploded in a shower of electrical sparks, I vowed to avenge his fearlessly fiery self-sacrifice for the greater good.
As confusion reigned around us and the volcano began to make ominous rumblings, I launched myself at the Baron while Big John and The Perfesser struggled free and attended to Lucy. The Baron and I grappled fiercely but my magnificent upper body tension eventually won out and, standing triumphant, I lifted the bald maniac high overhead.
"This isn't the last of me, you musclebound moron!" yelled the Baron.
"Yes, it is," I pithily quipped, hurling him into the molten magma and listening with some satisfaction to his dying screams.
"Doc, we need to get out of here now!" exclaimed the Perfesser and I always listen to a man of learning. We beat a hasty retreat out of there as quick as our legs would carry us (mine being of stupendous strength, they did carry me somewhat quicker).
We arrived at Chief N'Dego's village in time to watch the explosive eruptions. Unfortunately, this only served to remind us that we had neglected to bring the local girls back with us. As we made our excuses and left rather rapidly, I wondered if we truly had seen the last of the Baron. I also wondered how we would make it home without any forms of transport. We did eventually make it home but that, my friends, is a story for another time....