Saturday, 14 February 2009

The One-Legged Dog At The Gates Of Hell - A Macabre Encounter (Part The Second)

Part The Second - Familial Bonds

I have, through no fault of my own, I hasten to add, become somewhat of an connoisseur of penal institutions. It is an unfortunate by-product of my devil-may-take'em, cad-about-town lifestyle that finds me residing at the local constabulary's pleasure more often than I would prefer. I have to hand it to the local Egyptian Peelers, though – they were decent enough chaps and kind enough to let a gentleman savour the morning paper in peace before the regularly scheduled daily truncheoning began.

Once Cousin Arbie had secured my release and we'd exchanged a somewhat strained reunion (although it would be fair to say that he was not entirely surprised at the method of my arrival), we retired to his quarters for some minor refreshments. Well, there's only so long any self-respecting gentleman can go before needing something slightly stronger than tea and biscuits to lift his spirits.

Once I had been sufficiently revived and Arbie had received ample reassurance from myself regarding remuneration for his Squire-liberating generosity, we settled down to discuss what the deuce he was doing scrabbling away in the dust and dirt so very far from home.

"You would not believe it, cousin, the things I have found, the things I have seen!" he twittered. I rather fancied that I could imagine the dry collection of cracked pots and rusty trinkets that he'd managed to unearth but kept my own counsel and nodded politely. Fair is fair, he had just rescued me from regular thrashing about the cranial area. Let the old duffer wax lyrical about his dusty old relics.

"I think I've…well, this could be….that is to say….", he flustered around in his excitement.

"Spit it out, old fruit, there's a good fellow. We'll be here til breakfast at this rate," exclaimed I. There is, after all, a limit to a man's reserves of patience.

"This could mean the big time, cousin. With this find, I could have untold riches – treasures and rewards beyond the wildest dreams of mortal men."

It seemed only fair to the old thing to let him give me a bit of tour and show me this important find of his. After all, we are family and it would only be fair to humour old Arbie in his obsession. With a bit of persuasion, I managed to talk the old codger into showing me round the excavation that very afternoon.. With hindsight, I maybe should have stayed in my cosy little cell and endured the regular head bashings a little while longer instead…

To Be Expounded

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